The Red Triangle of Death

Last night, our friend Brian came over and we told him about our boogie boarding adventures last weekend. Brian listened patiently before breaking into a huge evil grin and telling us "you guys know you went boogie boarding right in the middle of the red triangle, right?" I thought he was making something up to mess with us, and I started thinking about the Bermuda Triangle and that one episode of the X Files where Mulder is transported back to the Caribbean circa 1930ish and they're all lost on some ghost ship. But then we went to Wikipedia, which of course never lies, and discovered the fated, fabled Red Triangle.

Apparently, the red triangle is this axis of shark attacks that we went boogie boarding smack-dab in the middle of last Sunday. (We'd have to drive for hours to the south or north to escape the red triangle-- check out the map, it's big) Now, I'm not really that scared of sharks. (K is a different story). And 13 shark attacks since 1952 really doesn't sound that bad. Brian is terrified of sharks and kept ratcheting up his terror-speak. "Being eaten alive is the worst possible way to go, I think" and "Hey, there's this awesome video on youtube of this guy getting attacked by two sharks at the same time. Let's watch it!" I tried to distance myself from the madness by getting out the lint roller and picking up pet hair, but I did watch the video, and yeah, it looks really, really scary. Still, that's not going to happen to us, is it?

The red triangle exists for a few reasons: 1. Sharks like cold water. 2. A bunch of seals and other tasty marine life live in the bay area. and 3. The Bay Area is heavily populated and lots of people like to go swimming and surfing here. Thus, (says my friend Wikipedia) "It has also been estimated that of all documented great white shark attacks on humans, more than half have occurred within the Red Triangle."

Bah. We were still going to go out today, because as my sister pointed out, we're more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the beach then we are to be torn limb from limb and then chewed up and spit out by Bruce. And besides, 13 attacks since 1952, and millions of people have been swimming in the red triangle since then? Our odds are pretty decent. Then I remembered that I am currently, um, experiencing my menstrual cycle. (And I'm sorry if that's oversharing, but come on, half of the population gets their period). So we're going to wait. But we're still going to go. If I bought into various sources of fear mongering (Bush, the media, Brian, rival gangs)I wouldn't fly on planes, eat tomatoes, talk on a cell phone, or live in my neighborhood. This blog post as my witness: I ain't afraid of no shark.